hello, porn bot!

[16:51] marcisiegfriedt4263: :)~
[16:51] angelle321: hello
[16:51] marcisiegfriedt4263: Hey hun.. How are you today? Wanna chat for a little? Im bored and wanted to meet new people...
[16:52] angelle321: hmm. why do I suspect you're a bot?
[16:52] marcisiegfriedt4263: Cool... Well, my name is Amanda Im from S.Florida.. Can I ask you a question?
[16:52] angelle321: you can but I bet it's not a real one!
[16:52] marcisiegfriedt4263: What kinda girls you in to? Are you in to BIG TITS or a BIG BOOTY? ;)~
[16:53] angelle321: are you asking me if I'm a lesbian?
[16:53] marcisiegfriedt4263: lol.. I have a lot of both!! ;-) Wanna see? I have some free time now...
[16:53] angelle321: I have my own big tits and big booty. so all I have to do is look in a mirror. But thanks a bunch, porn bot!
[16:54] marcisiegfriedt4263: Ok... let me set my web cam up and you can watch me shake my booty!! LOL.. brb

And then I got a second one just after.

[16:55] michaelvoelker8564: hi :)
[16:55] angelle321: hello
[16:55] michaelvoelker8564: Hey hun.. How are you today? Wanna chat for a little? Im bored and wanted to meet new people...
[16:55] angelle321: ooh! a second porn bot already?
[16:56] angelle321: how did I get so lucky???
[16:56] angelle321: Hello? Michael? I thought you wanted to be friends! Why are you not saying anything!

another omegle chat

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: asl?
You: hello random stranger!
You: 29/f/US
Stranger: 30 m usa
You: Michigan here
Stranger: texas here
Stranger: wuts ur whole name
You: I don't even give out part of my name online, much less the whole thing! ;)
Stranger: oh
Stranger: ok
Stranger: i love ur pussy
You: that love will not be returned. Hope you're ok with that
Stranger: i know
Stranger: cuz u dont llove pussy unless u r a lesian
Stranger: r u a lesbian
You: that's not what that meant anyway
Stranger: ur boring bich
You: you're a poor speller
Stranger: wow u know im not in college or shit anymore
Stranger: so i dont need to spell all correctly
You: neither am I. but I have certain standards just the same
Stranger: r u a teacher
You: you don't need to. no one *needs* to. but there is no reason not to
You: nope. I'm a photographer
Stranger: wow that gay
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

yahoo: sorentoz

sorentoz: hi
sorentoz: hru
angelle321: hi there
angelle321: where are you from?
sorentoz: from greece
sorentoz: could u open ur cam?
angelle321: I'm in the US
angelle321: I don't own a cam
sorentoz: pls
sorentoz: :(
angelle321: I don't own a cam
sorentoz: so?
sorentoz: picture
angelle321: that's me in the user pic
angelle321: I can link you too, hold on
sorentoz: ok
* sorentoz buzzes you!
angelle321: I said hold on
sorentoz: ok
sorentoz: sorry
angelle321: had to reopen my site
sorentoz: ok
angelle321: http://crushedglass.net/crushedstars/about/
sorentoz: u r soo sexy
angelle321: um, thanks?
sorentoz: any more pictures
angelle321: nothing recent
sorentoz: i wanna see ur sexy pictures
angelle321: I don't have sexy pictures
sorentoz: pls
sorentoz: i wanna see ur pictures
angelle321: http://www.flickr.com/photos/angelle321/sets/72157604234718825/
angelle321: they're all old though
sorentoz: u r soo sexyy
sorentoz: i wanna see u on ur cam
angelle321: I do not own a cam
angelle321: I already said that
sorentoz: mean
sorentoz: any cam u have?
sorentoz: not own
angelle321: I don't own one. I don't have one. I do not possess one. there is no cam here
angelle321: how many ways do you need me to say it?
sorentoz: are u married
angelle321: no
sorentoz: hmmm hot
angelle321: um... ok
angelle321: I'm not single
sorentoz: hmmm
sorentoz: :x
angelle321: ok
angelle321: so tell me something about you
sorentoz: i am horny
angelle321: tell me something about you that's actually interesting
sorentoz: and u affected me
angelle321: oh. ew
sorentoz: :x

omegle again

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hello!
Stranger: HI
You: how is today treating you?
Stranger: UM.....
Stranger: EATING
You: food is good
Stranger: YES
You: anything else?
Stranger: UM
You: I'm internetting until I go to zumba later.
Stranger: WOW
Stranger: BERY FUN
You: I think so!
Stranger: YOU
Stranger: MERRY??
Stranger: WHO ARE YOU?
You: just a chick in michigan
Stranger: UM...
Stranger: ME TOO
Stranger: YOU MAN?
You: no. thus the chick part :p
Stranger: YOU girl
Stranger: ??
You: yes
You: chick = girl
Stranger: How kind of you!
You: for being a girl??
Stranger: YES
You: oh. well it was no trouble on my part, really.
Stranger: IM student
Stranger: surprised??
You: should I be? what are you a student of?
Stranger: middle
Stranger: where do you live now
You: US, in Michigan
Stranger: WOW
Stranger: IM KOREA
Stranger: IM SORRT
You: oh that's ok
You: how old are you?
Stranger: 15old
Stranger: how old are you??
You: oh! just a baby!
You: I'm 29
Stranger: IM BABY??
Stranger: YOU BERY FUN
Stranger: YOU kindness be most beautiful
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


Omegle conversation log
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hello and welcome!
You: Hello random stranger!
Stranger: please have a seat!
You: done!
Stranger: Are you ready to be amazed??
You: definitely
Stranger: like totally amazed.
Stranger: Okay okay
Stranger: will you answer 2 questions for me before we start??
Stranger: very basic questions
You: mmk
Stranger: question number 1
Stranger: Are you female or male?
You: female
Stranger: question number 2
Stranger: What time is it?
You: 3:16 p.m.
Stranger: Excellent now we can being
Stranger: begin*
Stranger: I will ask you 3 simple yes or no questions and deduce your life in a nutshell
You: oh fun!
Stranger: Are you ready to play??!
You: go for it
Stranger: First question
Stranger: Is it sunny or cloudy right now?
You: that's not a yes or no question! :)
You: it's cloudy
Stranger: lol ooops
Stranger: :D
Stranger: Have you had snow in the past 3 days?
You: yes. stupid winter.
Stranger: final question
Stranger: Are you in the northern portion of the USA?
You: yes. usually that would be a given, but there has been snow all over lately, hasn't there?
Stranger: I predict that you are...
Stranger: a sophmore in college
Stranger: :D
You: nope! not for quite some time!
Stranger: bummer
Stranger: you win a prize
Stranger: You are the smartest person I have ever met and it has been quite a pleasure talking to you.
Stranger: (it's a compliment)
Stranger: :D
You: compliments are lovely.
Stranger: please excuse as I need to use the little boys room
You: *nods*
Stranger: wow my 1 audience member stuck around!
Stranger: amazing!!
Stranger: would like to play for double or nothing
Stranger: ?
You: sure!
Stranger: now that I have sufficient knowledge of you...
You: one moment while I refresh my coffee
Stranger: I will ask 3 yes or no questions to deduce your life!
Stranger: oh okay sure (gathers more information)
Stranger: I'll write the questions down so they'll be easier to answer
You: ok. I am ready!
Stranger: 1. Is this the proper use of the word, "Their is something wrong with that boy"
Stranger: their being the word
Stranger: 2. Did you graduate from college?
You: no! and there/their/they're is one o
You: there/their/they're is one of my word peeves when mixed up/misused
You: yes
You: no on their, yes on college. :)
Stranger: 3. Will you be happier in 5 years than you are now
Stranger: ?
You: oh goodness, I hope so!
Stranger: And now with my powers of deduction
Stranger: I deduce
Stranger: that you
Stranger: Have 2 cars, both of which are 4 door sedans
Stranger: :)
You: and... wrong again!
You: oh no!
Stranger: omg
Stranger: ...
Stranger: and now for your prize...
Stranger: It's such a shame there aren't more people like you in the world. You make my life so much happier. I really appreciate your positive attitude
Stranger: BUT WAIT!
Stranger: There's more
Stranger: little did you know that I was tricking you the first 2 rounds in order to make my grandest prediction of all!
You: oooh
Stranger: 3 more questions and you will be SHOCKED
Stranger: SHOCKED I tell you
Stranger: QUESTION NUMBER 1!!!!!!!!1
Stranger: Does your name contain 4 more or letters in its formal form?
Stranger: 4 or more*
You: yes
Stranger: Are any of the letters doubled or have 3 in your name?
Stranger: i.e. 2 l's or 3 r's?
You: no
Stranger: And for the final question
Stranger: Is your hair color brown?
You: not at present! it might be something resembling brown if allowed to do its own thing. but it's not allowed. :)
Stranger: ...?
Stranger: lol let me rephase
Stranger: is your natural hair color brunette?
You: yeah probably somethingn close to that. but I've been messing with it since I was in high school :)
You: *something
You: so we'll go with yes!
Stranger: Your name is....
Stranger: Emily
Stranger: O_O
Stranger: O_O
Stranger: O_O
You: aaaaand
You: no
Stranger: ...............................
Stranger: Well stranger I have no more compliments to give
Stranger: but what I can give is advice
Stranger: And here it is
Stranger: "Don't talk to strangers"
Stranger: :)
You: but strangers can be fun!
Stranger: Have a good day stranger from the northeast
You: thank you. you too!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I don't think this person has ever encountered a chat bot

9:52 AM

froggishcoho: Samurai vs. Knight. Who wins?

me: hello fishy bot!
froggishcoho: pardon?
how rude

me: is this your first one?

froggishcoho: what????

me: is this your first fishy bot, coho bot.

froggishcoho: DOES NOT COMPUTE

me: must be then. I didn't message you, though I'm sure you think I did.

froggishcoho: dont make me call aol

me: I'm not! I didn't message you. it's a bot. go ahead and google it.

froggishcoho: bot?>?????

me: yes!

froggishcoho: whats a bot?

me: wait, you've never encountered a chatbot before either? just google "salmonbot"

froggishcoho: bye
not interested

me: interested in what?? I did not message you! I already told you that.

froggishcoho: your fooking liar perv

me: um, what?

a new fishybot log

See also: A post about Salmon/Trout/Coho bots

10:15 AM
piouscoho: What is your definition of love?

10:16 AM
me: Hello fishy bot!

10:17 AM
piouscoho: who art thou?

10:18 AM
me: angelle321, crushedglass.net, a photographer, a writer
who are you?

10:19 AM
piouscoho: matt.... how do we know each other?

me: we don't. the fishy bot matched us up because you updated something that triggered it. I'm angelle321. not whatever-coho
10:20 AM nice to meet you

piouscoho: because I updated something?

me: yep. often it's triggered by a livejournal update
but I've heard people get them with other things too. It's always been LJ for me though

piouscoho: what? tavern update. i believe thou art mistaken

10:21 AM
me: google "salmonbot". might explain a little better
l i v e j o u r n a l
not tavern

piouscoho: what operating system dost thou think i am running

me: how would I know?

10:22 AM
piouscoho: bingo. run along now, dont bother me again ye fairy

me: I'm not a bot. I'm just the one the bot matched you up with. I didn't message you. :)

10:23 AM
piouscoho: well aware, and I am asking ye to ask "the knight" to match ye up with someone else
oh, and stop talking like a flibbertigibbet, ye sound ridiculous.
good bye ye fairy

10:24 AM
me: I didn't ask anything. I just got the message out of nowhere, just like you did. I didn't bring this one on! I'm not, btw, that's the bot too. I can explain pretty quickly if you message a n g e l l e 3 2 1 . Then we can both be on our merry way

I guess he decided not to take me up on that. Must have been his first time. :)

It amuses me how some words are filtered and some aren't. Seems to change by the day too. Sometimes I can talk to someone freely, and sometimes there are filtered words. Like "bot" apparently, and "livejournal."


10:29 AM
piouscoho: Maybe you shouldn't explain things right away. It just seems to confuse them more.
There are over 200 ways to say 'Who are you?', but all of them make you look foolish.

10:30 AM
me: I see now that it's f i l t e r i n g certain words. Apparently I'm not allowed to say b o t or l i v e j o u r n a l.


Dude sends me his cam, I hit accept button instead of decline button. Could have thought that through better. I then see dude stroking his penis. I then close the window.

[20:44] angelle321: you are a jackass
[20:45] jamesbond77897: what happened
[20:45] angelle321: you, being a jackass. duh
[20:45] jamesbond77897: oops
[20:45] jamesbond77897: sorry that cam was not for u


rrr200044: hiiiiiiiii
Eunice St. Clair: hi
rrr200044: hello
rrr200044: good
rrr200044: hello
Eunice St. Clair: hello
rrr200044: Possible to open the camera
Eunice St. Clair: I don't have a webcam
rrr200044: Possible practice of sex
rrr200044: ok
Eunice St. Clair: not with me
rrr200044 has canceled the file transfer.

rrr200044: pye

a really strange nimp related exchange I had this morning

While I was sleeping:

Dobernala78: your private posts have been stolen blah blah crushedglass.nimp.blahblah blah
Dobernala78: FINE if you don't want to talk to me I'll just have an ABORTION

At about 5 when I woke up:
me: I was SLEEPING
Dobernala78: oh, sorry
me: And anyway. who is this?
Dobernala78: are you wearing panties?
me: It's too early for this shit
Dobernala78: I'm not wearing any either

Then I did not message back because, at 5, when I was trying to get ready for work, it *was* too early!

Then later in the day (not too long ago actually) this exchange:

Dobernala78: no shit!
me: What
Dobernala78: why do you tell me this, stranger?
me: Driving
Dobernala78: why such kindness?
Dobernala78: i repeat: angelle321: your private friends-only posts have beenbeen stolen: blah blahxxDobernalaxx.on.nimp.blahblahblah
Dobernala78: what is this!?!
me: A bot i bet. I did not msg you. Driving.
Dobernala78: yes. bot. goodday.
me: Do not click nimp links they will fuck yo shit up. Are you on LJ and did we exchange msg this morn?
Dobernala78: yes. and no. and yeah, i saw that comming...
Dobernala78: do you have any idea what it is that the link does?
me: Now specifically but google nimp
me: I am a real person btw. My LJ is crushedglass. Will msg when there is less chance of death.

And I haven't heard from the person since then. Now I wonder... was I talking to the same person this morning??